the Girl in Green (tEsMiNa)

{October 7, 2008}   robbie’s life in two great songs

“The 80’s”
I smoked Consulates and Park Drive, drank Nookie Brown
Learned how to skive
Polo mints to hide my breath from my mum
Did a little weed cuz it felt like fun
Did a little bit of speed if my friend had some
Nicked Volkswagen badges I’m a Beastie Boys son
Me so horny, me so young and I still get my washing done
Auntie Joan died of cancer God didn’t have an answer
Rhythm was a dancer
Any room for a chancer? That’s me in the corner, thanks sir!
I wore astute track suits, British Nike shoes, Kangol hat like LL Cool’s
Before I was ‘avin it, ‘avin it large
They nicked the BMX from out my garage
Knew it was Theo from off the estate cuz every time he’d see me, he’d smile like we were mates
From then on in I’d have to walk to me Nan’s
And I’d dream my dreams through a sea of prams
Like a hooligan on the football stands
And I’d throw the v’s to Leeds and West Ham
Then I ran, I ran so far away down Scotia Road to a taxi bay
Then I ran again cuz I couldn’t pay, a Muslim didn’t get his fare that day
I apologise today
Things are better when they start
That’s how the 80s broke my heart
And who are you calling poof? You like Wham, man, I hate that stuff
And then my grandad died and left a hole in the family and lots of women had to nanny me
School was a laugh, they didn’t have ADD, thick was the term they used for me
(over and over)
(over and over)
Take my breath away take my breath away
Bidly bidly bidly bom
Pass it on the left hand side, right turn, Clive
That girl in the fourth year, got pregnant and she was raised Catholic, brilliant!
I cried, she cried, we cried, our youth died
Drank cider in the cemetery
The year above us had discovered E and I said it weren’t for me
?12.50? I could rob me mum’s purse and buy one up Torquay
Met a girl on Monday, drank fizzy pop on Tuesday
Fingered her on Wednesday and on Thursday and Friday and on Saturday
Dumped by Sunday
Things are better when they start
That’s how the 80s broke my heart
The wonder years, I’ve played my part
That’s how the 80s broke my heart
Like I said, I lost my virginity to a girl called Anne-Marie, well she said she fancied me
And then she said “fuck me” and I thought ‘fuck me, I’m all talk and it’ll be over too quickly’
And it was but I couldn’t care less, I’d seen a girl’s bra and made a mess on her dress, oh yes!
You’re now rocking with the best, second person in my year that had seen a breast
I’m in my 30s now and I’m still impressed
Where are the Falklands mum? And what have they done?
Where do girls come from? Where do girls come from? Where do girls come from?
It’s the 80s, what you looking at, ya mong?
So young, so long, so young, so long
Too short, so long
What you looking at ya mong?
Too short, so long, too short, so long
So long.

“The 90’s”
Picking up the story from where I left off, it’s 1990 now so school can fuck off
I got no GCSEs, nothing higher than a D,
I couldn’t tell me mum because she’d batter me
Me and ?? sat on the bowling green, life is a shitter
We had five quid between us, bought us six cans of bitter
I took me ten Benson home and I smoked through the sorrow
If I could just avoid me mum maybe I’ll tell her tomorrow
I stumbled through the door and said “Mum, it’s like this.”
She said “That man’s been on the phone and you’ve made the list!
You’re in that boy band, son, come and giz a kiss!”
Phoned up Martin and Rich and carried on getting pissed
“Boys I don’t believe it, I’m gonna be famous!
Pick you up in a Porsche and buy you lots of trainers.”
I met the other guys, one seemed like a cock
I think it’s gonna be like New Kids on The Block
I cant be bothered, cause I’m lazy
I hate those that hate me
I cant forgive and it’s crazy, baby
Now I’m a video star
Do you know who you are, baby?
I adopted four brothers, some I liked more than others
One was like a brother from another mother
But the lead singer made it hard to like him
And I still loved him, despite him
The first three months, you know, I nearly quit
I played snooker with me dad he said “Don’t be a dick!
Unload the bullets, your mind is a gun,
You’re gonna shoot yourself when they’re number one!”
Now it’s dinner with Versace, lunch with Princess Diana
And I’m gonna get battered if I go out with ??
Because as much as we were loved we were also hated
The boys got jealous cause the girls got ??
Now we’re famous and that, and we’re dancing and that
And I’m thinking “I can’t see! Why am I stood at the back?”
So fuck the band give me some ??
So now we’re all a bag of nerves and not a band of brothers
And now it’s breaking my heart because the dream’s turned to shit
It ain’t broke but I’ll break it in a little bit
And I’m always in trouble but I’ve stopped saying sorry
Everybody’s worried “What the fuck’s wrong with Robbie?
He’s not answering his phone, he’s not talking to me
I saw him on the telly at Glastonbury.”
And now I’m running away from everything that I’ve been
And I’m pissed and I’m fucked and I’m only nineteen
I can’t perform no more, I can’t perform no more
But the boys know I’m fucked and so they show me the door
And if truth be told I wasn’t fit enough to stay
So I put me head down and walked away.
That was the 90s; 90 to 95

the story of his life……. robbie williams


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